


Life Is A Lemon.

by cuddlepuss



Category: Stiles Stilinski - Fandom, teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: Fiction, General fiction, Literature, Other, Short Stories, prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-18 00:30:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1408312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddlepuss/pseuds/cuddlepuss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A song fic based around how I think Stiles would feel about being the only 'mere human' in the pack of werewolves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life Is A Lemon.

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to music earlier, and this song, by meatloaf came on. I suddenly got the idea for this story from it. I could have used anyone for it, but I decided to use Stiles from Teen Wolf as I've written significantly less Teen Wolf fictions than any other.

_I want my money back_  
I want my money back  
I want my money back  
I want my money back  
I want my money back 

_It's all or nothin'_  
And nothin's all I ever get,  
Every time I turn it I burn it up and burn it out 

Yeah, nothing’s all I ever get all right, except scared out of my mind. I mean, it’s all right for the guys, they’re werewolves, hunters, banshee, etcetera, but me? I’m just Stiles, the ‘Human’. Yeah, I may only be human, but I still deal with all the supernatural shit that happens here. I’ve been targeted by the alpha wolf pack, and came out practically unharmed, but my pack …..friends, still treat me as a child to be shielded and babied. Makes my blood boil.

_There's always something,_  
There's always something going wrong.  
That's the only guarantee, that's what this is all about. 

_It's a never ending attack._  
Everything's a lie and that's a fact.  
Life is a lemon and I want my money back! 

Just a few years ago, my life was normal, I was a bench-warmer at lacrosse, had few friends, and got ignored by most. Then, on that fateful night, Scott and I ventured out into the woods, and I found myself with a werewolf best friend. One with a knack for trying to kill me when I was attempting to help him. If I’d known then what I know now, I’d have stayed indoors and kept on going with my homework.

_And all the morons,_  
and all the stooges with their coins,  
Their the ones who make the rules, it's not a game it's just a rout 

_There's desperation, (there's desperation)_  
There's desperation in the air.  
It leaves a stain on all your clothes and no detergent gets it out. 

It’s damned hard on the clothes too, never mind the body and mind. I’ve learned more about stain removal than any teenager my age should ever know. Never mind the first aid, the catering, the ‘pep talks to the others, and listening to their problems. Why did my life have to get so confusing? Can’t I have at least one school year without some freakishly weird and spooky creepy event happening? Seriously, my grades are slowly going down the toilet because I can’t concentrate on school with all the other stuff going on.

_And we're always slippin' through the cracks._  
Then the movie's over, fade to black.  
Life is a lemon and I want my money back 

Yeah, life’s a lemon, sourwolf, bitter old uncle-wolf, zesty young pups, and the loony lunar cycle to fit into the daily routine  of school, work, dad, the pack. Nothing to it, piece of cake really. Gah! 

_What about love?_  
It's defective!  
It's always breakin' in half. 

That’s a good one! Lydia, my first love, so stuck on Jackson she didn’t even notice I was alive most of the time.

_What about sex?_  
It's defective!  
It's never built to really last. 

What sex? Virgin of the millennia candidate number one, right here!

_What about your family?_  
It's defective!  
All the batteries are shot. 

Lets see. Mum died when I was a child, Dad’s at work as often as not, I’m an only child, so yeah, what ABOUT family?

_What about your friends?_  
Their defective!  
All the parts are out of stock. 

Yeah, most of them turned into supernatural creatures, generally werewolves, but a sprinkling of other kinds. Oh, and a Supernatural Hunter too. 

_What about your god?_  
It's defective!  
They forgot the warranty. 

If there IS a god, he doesn’t cover the Beacon Hills district. Either that or he traded up with the devil.

_What about your town?_  
It's defective!  
It's a dead end street to me. 

Town’s fine. Most of the residents have no idea that a good few of them are beasts in disguise that could murder, maim, or munch on them, but hey, no town’s perfect, right?

_What about your school?_  
It's defective!  
it's a pack of useless lies. 

The staff are certainly useless, or at least, most of them are. Kira’s Dad is all right, and even if he gave us the creeps, Gerard at least knew about the ……unusual elements at play in the school. Though he was fartoo concerned with killing them to be comfortable to be around.

_What about your work?_  
It's defective!  
It's a crock and then you die. 

I’ve got my hands full keeping my jeep, my baby, on the road, the pack researched and dad decently fed.

_What about hope?_  
It's defective!  
It's corroded and decayed. 

Every time I dare to hope, it gets smashed to smithereens, either by sourwolf, by one of my friends, or by circumstance. I give up on hope.

_What about faith?_  
It's defective!  
It's tattered and it's frayed. 

Oh, I have faith. I firmly believe that one of the supernatural events I get dragged into will seriously be the death of me.

_What about your childhood?_  
It's defective!  
It's dead and buried in the past. 

Yeah, nice idea, but childhood kind of becomes less of the all American ideal when you lose a parent while still young.

_What about your future?_  
It's defective!  
you can shove it up your ASS! 

WHAT future? The brightest thing I see in my future is living through the next incident without loss of limb, health, mind or dad.

_I want my money back (Life is a Lemon)!_  
I want my money back (Life is a Lemon)!  
I want my money back (Life is a Lemon)!  
I want my money back (Life is a Lemon)!  
I want my money back (Life is a Lemon)! 

So I sound like a self-pitying jerk. Maybe I do, but then, in my place, wouldn’t you?


End file.
